Recently I began a game of Civ V with 22 civilizations and 41 city-states on the biggest map setting with map type “Archipelago” and Marathon speed. Here’s what happened. (I’m playing as the Polynesians, by the way.) I am starting this from 1160 AD so I’ll summarize what happened for the first few thousand years.
c. 1500 BC: Met the Aztecs.
c. 500 BC: Destroyed the Aztecs. They were in my way.
c. 495 BC: Paused to enjoy life on small duo-island paradise, tentatively called “The Twins.”
0 AD: Sent scout ships out to find others who might be a threat.
1000 AD: Could not find threats. Will now accept finding others who can be destroyed regardless of threat level. Founded religion Silence.
1050 AD: In journeys around the world, met the Shoshone, Russia, Babylon, Sweden, Austria, and the Netherlands. Also met city-states Bucharest, Malacca, Kyzyl, Yerevan, Lhasa, Zurich, Brussels, Bogota, and Wellington.
1160 AD: Successfully circumnavigated the world in a Trireme (coastal warship). Met Japan. They have whales. That’s offensive.
1170 AD: Allied with Babylon. Finished researching Navigation (allowing the production of Privateers, a strong naval unit). Get ready, world.
1180 AD: Considered stabbing Babylon in the back.
1190 AD: Met Byzantium.
1200 AD: Deployed settlers to establish colony on island east of the Twins (christened the Veil) and/or get murdered on the way by barbarians.
1220 AD: Met Portugal.
1230 AD: Settlers survived against all odds. Established colony on the Veil. Met Napoleon.
1350 AD: Veil colony destroyed barbarian encampment. Prepared settlers to journey to Elephant Island to the east.
1360 AD: Wondered where the hell Mongolia is.
1370 AD: Met India.
1380 AD: Met Carthage. Thought to self, “Carthage must be destroyed.”
1440 AD: Established colony on Elephant Island. Shoshone denounced Japan. Still don’t really know my way around the map very well… maybe this is a border conflict? Austria denounced me for no reason. Rude.
1836 AD: I’m not kidding, nothing happened in the last four hundred years. I would tell you all the other civilizations I met, but let’s face it, I’m just going to annihilate them anyway.
1840 AD: See above.
1860 AD: Japan recruited me (for like the 8th time) against the Shoshone. Fine, I’ll party.
1865 AD: The Shoshone surrendered a city to me in exchange for peace.
1870 AD: Japan said it’s time to go to war. (Didn’t we just go to war?) Peace treaty with Shoshone somehow non-existent. Engaged with Shoshone capital city with one boat. Dealt significant amount of damage. Rest of fleet ordered to Agaidika, my stronghold in the north, to help in the war.
1892 AD: The Shoshone were defeated at the hands of my large fishing fleet composed entirely of Privateers and land force of one piece of Artillery. Two down, many to go.
1893 AD: You know what, let’s just go to war with Japan as well.
1910 AD: Japan defeated at the hands of my expanded Artillery force and my fishing fleet, which now contains 1 Ironclad.
1911 AD: Polynesia was denounced by every other nation in the world except for Babylon.
I don’t know what’s going to happen next… but my fishing fleet is ready.
As always, thanks for reading!