Guy in my Macedonia class: “Have you lived in America? Or… the world?” I can’t remember what we were talking about. Someone in class didn’t know what Easter was, or something…
Other guy from Macedonia class: “Having class on Passover is like… what’s big for you guys? Christmas?”
Facebook post: “BULLSHIT: Penn DPS can regulate a weekend long fling but can’t regulate 8 gunshots near campus… the fuck do people’s tuition dollars go to?!” Tutition, probably. That makes sense to me for some reason.
Macedonia professor (Fling weekend): “Have a nice weekend. I feel it’s important to remind you all that the consumption of large quantities of alcohol is poor for your health and may get you mocked by the Athenians even if you are the greatest military leader of all time.” A reference to Philip II, for those who haven’t taken Macedonian history. She said all this with the tiniest of smiles.
Guy (Fling weekend): *knocks on door*
Bruce: “Uh, do I know you?”
Guy: “No. Do you have alcohol?” Classic Fling.
Girl (Fling weekend and clearly very intoxicated): “I don’t get it. I just don’t… He didn’t text me. I’m pretty… I’m smart… I’m interesting… I’m doing nothing wrong. So why isn’t he texting me?” This was actually quite sad to overhear, not funny at all, and I think it reflects really poorly on societal standards of who should initiate this sort of thing. /endrant.
Richard: “Are you going to be up until late?”
Me: “4, probably.”
Richard: “Cool, can you wake me up at 3:45?”
Me: “No, that sounds awful.”
Richard: “I need to study.” Oh, finals week, you BITCH.
As you can probably tell I’ve been collecting these for quite awhile (and obviously Freshman year is long over by now). Sorry if the context isn’t clear for all of them – I did the best I could. Anyway, I hope the first year of quotes has shown you that Penn students are no shining models of intelligence, excellence, or clarity…
As always, thanks for reading.