I want to start off by saying thank you to George for excluding in his Histories post how much of a bitch I was to him. I really was the worst to him, but I’m glad he was able to forgive me.
I just found out that the Sick Puppies recently released a new album!!! This of course makes me very happy because last summer whenever I had a fight with my mom, which would be at least 4 times a week, I would always blast songs like My World, In It For Life, and You’re Going Down. It was my not so subtle way of saying fuck you to my mom. I’m very bad with subtly. If I had to make a list of things that I’m bad at subtly would definitely be towards the top of the list. Anyways, I’m currently listening to the new album called, Connect, and it is amazing! As soon as I get the okay from my mom I’m going to buy it on iTunes. Everyone who reads this should buy it too, because it’s amazing. I also have a problem of using the word amazing too much… aaaand my mom said no. Oh well. She is spending 300 dollars on a hotel for 2 nights so I can go to a swim meet, so I guess I can get over it.
I really haven’t posted in awhile, and I haven’t been doing much either. In all honesty my summer is very boring. I eat, sit at the library, and I swim. For the most part I’ve given up fighting with my mom and her husband. I was going to start seeing a therapist about at the beginning of summer, but a few weeks got wasted because my mom didn’t look for one when I thought she was going to. Now, a few more weeks have passed because the damn therapists won’t call my mom back. Like, you’d think they’d be a little more on top of these things. It’s been a little more than 2 weeks since my mom called 3 of them. None of them have called back and it’s really pissing me off.
“Everyone alive is telling lies.”
Have I mentioned how amazing this album is???
I should really go to lunch, but I really need to finish this post. I’m hungry.
Basically the Sick Puppies describe how I’m feeling most of the time.
“I don’t know how to reach you, so I shut down instead.”
I was originally going to post about my territorialness, but I’m thinking that I’ll save that for another day. My brain is a little fuzzy right now, and I’m thinking that yesterday and today and maybe just this week are not my days. I have a pretty big swim meet coming up next weekend, and it’s freaking me out. I’m swimming all of my best events and I trust my training, it’s just that big meets have always scared me. This is my first big meet since New England’s. That meet just went horribly. My entire high school swimming season this past year was horrid. I did not have one good race the entire season in the events that matter the most to me. So put that on top of my underlying fear of big meets and you get me right now! I know I’ve been training really hard, and I trust my coach more than any coach that I’ve ever had, but I’m really scared that I’m going to fail again. I’ve been swimming fast, that is a fact, but I still have this irrational fear that I’m not going to swim fast at the meet. I’m sorry this paragraph probably makes no sense, so I’m going to end it here.
Until Next Time,